I can say confidently that I feel I'm trying to follow where God leads. I leave room to be corrected on selfishness, pride, work addiction, etc., but I think my intentions are honorable in taking on each. My current jobs/responsibilities are Sales & Marketing Director at Miracle Camp (20 hours), Executive Director of Orphan Justice Mission (20 hours), Lead Pastor of Life Point Community Church (10 hours) and grad school (10 hours). Don't forget family, friends and an hour or two to chill out. Each tends to run over a bit, with some give and take between categories, so I usually end up with a 70 - 80 hour work week, which could be worse, I know. Yet, as I think back on how I ended up at each, I think, "yeah, God was going there." I just said "yes" to going for the walk. Each is a good cause, each fits my personality and giftings and I think I'm seeing fruit from each not to mention that this strange career combination is paying the bills (though barely). Taking any one component out (maybe with the exception of grad school) creates financial difficulty.
So am I dumb or is this what being a living sacrifice is all about? Am I killing myself to fulfill some twisted need to succeed, to do the impossible, to show my family and friends (ahem, BC) that, yes, I can keep all the balls in the air? Or is the act of giving myself fully to God, to be used up, consumed and totally spent in someway similar (though much, much less grand) to what the Lamb of God went through?
Larry Osbourne in his book The Contrarian's Guide to Spirituality says we should live up to our calling and not our potential. I'm still digging that bullet out from between my eyes, but I'm curious to know if Larry would allow God to call us down diverging paths simultaneously? If so, then maybe getting stretched (be it even cartoon thin) is how we really grow and the only realistic way for me to fulfill my calling. If not, then I pray I figure out which path I'm supposed to be on because I'm not very good at doing the splits.
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